leaning on family

I think I'm having the opposite problem. I kind of like to handle things alone, though I have been spending more time than usual with my parents. My family has been calling and calling and inviting me places and I'd rather just be alone. I have been going out with friends a lot more than usual too, but try to talk about other things to keep my mind of my life right now.You don't wear out your family - there will be a day when they need to lean on you, and you will get your opportunity to reciprocate. Lean on them while you need to, but keep in mind that you shouldn't be miserable forever. Try to work your way towards a more positive outlook somehow. It will be good for everyone in the end.brother helped me tremendously - the ones who respond do so willingly, so no guilt about wearing out my welcome here (I hope). ::)

for the best.....

Anyone else out there have this situation going on...I've been thinking alot about this...My brother says "this is for the best". He really believes that this is not only the best for him, but the best for ME too! And like, I think he thinks that at some point, I will realize this is for the BEST for me. He was right!..or some such nonsense. I mean, yes, he and I had been completely enmeshed in that, if I didn't understand something on the computer, he would get irritated and whip through it when he showed it to me, as if I was an extension of him - like the part of him that "knew what to do" but just forgot. I wonder if that could be why he truly believes this is the "best" for me too - becuase he doesn't know where he ends and I begin. He doesn't realize that I have feelings DIFFERENT than his. Hum....What do you all think? Anyone else dealing with this "it's for the best" thang?

Tired

I've been running myself ragged for the past month and a half since HE left me, and I think I finally hit a brick wall today. I just have no energy to do anything. I've been out of milk for four days, but can't seem to find the energy to go out and buy some. There is a whole list of housework and other things I need to do, but I can't seem to get up off the couch today. It's almost like the past month or so has been this huge adrenaline rush, and now it has worn off. There is just no motivation left. Maybe a good nights sleep will help. Any suggestions?

crying

My counselor helped me with this one. Pretty much what is happening is that you are suppressing it all for days and then bam, one little thing hit you and its all over and the 'flood gates' are open, per se.The key is to NOT deny letting your feelings out and acknowledging them BUT to have control of them and be able to control them on your terms.In order to do that, it requires some practice so your body/mind know when its 'ok' to let it all out. My counselor had me set aside one hour each day just thinking while at home or a 'safe place'. No tv, no distractions, nothing that wont let you just sit and think and let your feelings come to the top and out. And if you are sitting thinking and nothing comes out, then thats fine. It doesnt require a 'blubberfest' everytime. ;-)What this does is that one, it gives you an 'outlet' each day so that you are not suppressing everything while doing 'life stuff' such as work, etc. Two, it keeps you from having any 'melt downs' at inappropriate places such as in public or at work.I hope this helps and hang in there. Things DO get better.

feeling alone

I think I can relate... I just broke up w/ my BF of 8 months (been separated with my ex for 13 months). I realize that it was too soon to get into that...I had almost no time to myself. I wasn't looking to do this, I was just looking t date guys. You did have alone time prior to this guy... or were you with anther guy? Being alone sucks, I know. With my ex BF, I felt that we did not spend enugh time together (2 hurs a night, only 3 nights a week- when my daughter is with her dad). I wanted more than that, or less than that I guess (makes sense). I was looking for all or nothing, and ended up chosing nothing (with his help). So instead of having a boyfriend and feeling alone, I now have no boyfriend and am alone. But I think it's better in a way (for now). It still hurts, but I am no longer in a committed relationship with someone who couldn not commit enough (in my opinion).

sad

Hey Just me! It's not a simple business transaction - it's the deed to your life! It's the cutting of the strings which supports that ton of bricks you've been carrying forever. Unload them and begin anew! I know - I must sound completely heartless...I don't mean to sound that way. I know how hard this day is for you. I know it hurts like hell...I know you feel lower than dirt when it's over...in fact, you're sometimes not even sure how to feel...it all seems so surreal! Believe me when I tell you, it'll begin to smooth out from here. Oh sure, you'll have those occasional emotional outbreaks...there will still be moments where you'll miss him, but they will get fewer and father between as time passes.Hold your head up and walk tall! You are strong and you can do this and you will be stronger for it!You're in my thoughts and prayers!!

what do I do now

I am not only thinking of myself, however. We do have a son together and I am putting him before me. My husband reacts very angrily towards me, and someone once told me that intesnse anger can come as a result of intense love...(meaning there is still SOME feeling there) I can't help but think that if he didn't care at ALL that he would be totally indifferent towards me altogether, which he is not. I also can't believe that after 10 years of being with someone, 7 married, that you get over someone in just half a year, unless he truly never cared from the start. I know what mistakes I have made, I see where I have gone wrong. The problem is, getting HIM to understand this. He has a history of anxiety disorder which causes him to become very irritational. It is impossible to post one's whole life/marital history. I am just looking for feedback of some kind.